Sunday, August 16, 2009

Before men sang “Viva Viagra!”

How many times, while you’re chillin’ with your bro’s, singing the “Viva Viagra” song like those guys on TV, have you wondered what erectile-challenged men did before there was Viagra?

OK. But let's talk about it anyway.

Aphrodisiacs – both real and bogus – have been around, written about, advertised and sold throughout history. And, naturally, given the target audience, articles and ads about aphrodisiacs were common in men’s adventure magazines of the 1950s and 1960s.
An example I found particularly fascinating (from a historical perspective, of course) is an article in the March 1962 issue of True Men Stories. Its title is a featured headline on the cover, above the excellent cover painting of babes with killer dogs fighting Nazis:
"SAFE AND LEGAL SEX STIMULANTS: Where To Get And How To Use Them"

The article provides a quick overview of aphrodisiacs through history. It also discusses the dangers of various types of illegal sex stimulants some people used in the ‛50s and ‛60s. “Dangerous” drugs like marijuana. (Beware the Reefer Madness!). And, truly dangerous stuff, like “Spanish Fly.” (Yeah, I mean truly.)

Then, lucky readers of the article get the scoop on “safe and legal sex stimulants.” First, comes the prescription-required options. Those include having your doctor shoot you up with the male hormones androgen or testosterone, or with adrenaline or the drug reserpine.

Next there's a rundown of the “safe and legal” over-the-counter options. At the top of the list is...wait for it...alcohol!

“Now, whether you know it or not,” author Michael Davis explains, “the most readily available and quickly effective sex stimulant for any man is alcohol...[I]n moderate doses it raises the threshhold of erectile and ejaculatory reflexes, thereby intensifying the satisfaction derived prior to and during the climax.”

Yeah, baby! It’s Miller Time! And, it gets even better for men with manly tastes.

“Heavy foods, richly prepared and highly spiced have an immediately noticeable effect on sexual stimulation, and this is particularly true of those high in proteins.”

Like what? Well, “the very best source is meat, preferably lean, red beef.”

That’s right. So don’t even think about being one of those wussy vegetarians, buddy. In fact, the article warns that “a diet made up entirely of vegetables depresses the sexual desire.”

If you want to know more about the sexual benefits of alcohol, red meat and mainlining male hormones – and the dangers of the Killer Weed and Veganism – you can read the article yourself. Just click here or on the thumbnail image of the article’s first page, at right, to download and read the entire article in PDF format.

But be careful. Some of the legal things it recommends don’t necessarily sound “safe” to me. I’m just sayin’.